I read this in Anne Lamott's book Grace (Eventually): "We can't forgive: that's the work of the Spirit. But we can be willing."

It came from her chapter on Samwheel - the whole story is posted on Salon.com.

The theme that really stood out for me is to be WILLING. I get frustrated when I feel that same bitterness and/or anger bubbling up to the surface AGAIN - when I feel like, "Hey, I've already Dealt with you. We had an agreement here. Why are you back?"

Forgiveness - from my experience, isn't a one-time thing. It seems like I have to be willing Over and Over again to let bitterness go ...

It comes back to Surrender {that was the theme a few weeks ago}. And the realization that I can't do it on my own - and that it's OK to ask for help. Being willing to receive that help, and also to offer it to others. All of these things I am learning!